Triumvirate of Nevers

When one takes the vow of marriage, one must accept the other in sickness and in health.  I was pretty okay at honoring my husband in health.  But in sickness?  Well, let us just say that I had room for improvement.

Maybe when my husband suffered from acute tonsillitis and had surgery, I left for a few hours after we returned home because I could not handle the muted whining.

Before you harshly judge me, just remember that it is a procedure that ends in a popsicle.

Anywho.. basically, I am no caregiver.  Thus, we can understand my concern once our son arrived.  What if I have the same amount of sympathy for him?  Thankfully, this was not the case.

Though even after I held my son for the first time,  I thought, there are some things I just cannot do. Things that I watch my friends do for their children and think: wow, that is just horribly disgusting.  I could not even handle the subdued whimpers of a man who was not even soiled.  Yet, these abhorrent tasks are what I do now.  Almost happily.  What are they?

Below is a list of the top three…enjoy:

  1. Picking snot particles from his nose…with my finger.
  2. Allowing the child to finish vomiting on my face before I set him down to voraciously scrub every pore.
  3. Tasting a mystery glob to determine if it is food or feces.

#itsusuallyfood  #makenumberthreeagame  #everyonewins #ifyouhaventdonetheseyouwill

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