Baby Sanctions

We have established that my son is an infant.  He is at the stage where most of what he does is objectively (not subjectively…I’ve asked around, the kid is adorable all the time) cute.

However, he is also at the stage where he is understanding when we say “no”.  And he is also, sometimes, being decidedly disobedient.

He’s still adorable when he’s being insubordinate… 

So, my beef (as the youth say) is not with my child, but with the grown people with which we surround ourselves.

When my wee, little baby slaps you with his wee, little hand; let me tell him “no”.  Don’t interrupt me and tell me that it’s okay.  It is most certainly not okay.  For you see, this wee, little baby is going to grow into a terrible toddler, an abhorrent adolescent and an atrocious adult.

Do you want a smelly twelve year old boy with one mustache hair slapping you across the face?  Of course not.  It is not acceptable behavior.

So, please grown-ups, let me appropriately discipline my child now.  Let me tell him “no”.  Trust me, it is for the collective good.  If not, and I will warn you now: keep stopping me, and let him turn into an entitled imbecile.  Because I will not hesitate to drop him off at your house…for good.

….don’t worry, it will be okay.

#hismomwillalwayshavemoremustachehairs  #imtalkingaboutmyself  #itsfunnycauseitstrue



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