Early Enamel

When one becomes a parent for the first time, one is warned about many things:  no sleep, terrible twos, terrible threes, terrible teens, diapers, cost, vomit, no sleep, terrible tantrums, no sleep, vomit and sleepless nights.  However, I feel that my framily (friends and family) failed to mention the longest lasting issue of them all:  teething.

For you see, teething is like Woody Allen’s movies; no one properly explains the phenomena and just when you think it is over, another one is released.

Too far?  You know he married his step-daughter?

Anywho…teething.

The worst part about the entire thing is that, the throwing up, the fevers, the ear aches are all so he can grow something that will eventually fall out.  These teeth aren’t even the ones he gets to keep.  Some fairy gets them in exchange for a piece of gum and a quarter (it’s what we got in the 1980s, I am assuming that fairies don’t deal in inflation).

So, to all of you almost or new parents allow me to properly warn you:  teething should be on the HaHa You’re A Parent Now list…because it is the worst.

#seriouslyhisstepdaughter
#iwonderwhatthefairydoeswithalltheteeth  #ibetsheputsthemindentures  #maybemygrandmahasmyoldteeth  #babychompers

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